Fortune cookies are a nice little bonus you get at the end of a meal at a Chinese restaurant. Made from flour, sugar, vanilla, and sesame seed oil, the sugary cookie is a great treat after you’ve eaten. While the cookies themselves are sweet and act like an after-dinner snack, it’s the fortune inside them that you really want. Each cookie contains a short message that is often an old Chinese saying or a vague prophecy of what to expect in the future. The best messages are funny fortune cookie sayings that offer a few laughs instead of trying to predict the future. Fortune Cookie Origins
Surprisingly, fortune cookies were not invented by the Chinese, despite their association with Chinese food and culture. While there is no exact date for when they became a thing, historians believe they originated in Japanese culture sometime in the 19th century. Makoto Hagiwara of Golden Gate Park’s Japanese Tea Garden began handing out fortune cookies in the late 1980s and is often highlighted as the first person in America to do so. Although that claim has been disputed by David Jung, founder of the Hong Kong Noodle Company in Los Angeles, who claims to have invented the fortune cookie in 1918. Several other people have tried to claim ownership of the fortune cookie but with little success. Most just agree they started appearing in the early 1900s at Chinese restaurants in San Francisco. Predicting the Future As mentioned, a fortune cookie usually contains a short message or quote spouting wisdom, promising good news, or predicting a vague future event. While they can be informative and challenging, the best fortune cookie message to get is one that is funny. What beats ending your meal with a joke and a laugh? Acting like a funny fortune teller, these hilarious messages reference a wide range of topics and are often unintentionally funny. To give you an example of the types of funny fortune cookie sayings you might come across, as well as wanting to give you a laugh, here are some of the funniest examples. 101 Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings
Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue. Today, bring an umbrella. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. About time I got out of that cookie. When in anger, sing the alphabet. Blessed are the children for they shall inherit the national debt. If you eat something and nobody sees you eat it, it has no calories. The fortune you seek is in another cookie. Stop eating now. Food poisoning is no fun. You will marry a professional athlete – if competitive eating is considered a sport. Come back later… I am sleeping. I can not help you for I am just a cookie. Change is inevitable, except for vending machines. Your reality check is about to bounce. Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come from miles to watch you burn. A wise person never tries to get even. A wise person gets odder. To truly find yourself you should play hide and seek alone. Ignore the previous cookie. Pregnancy is a gift. And in your case, also a surprise. Pass the bill to the person on your right. Two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday. It’s okay to look at the past and future. Just don’t stare. Error 404: Fortune not found. You will soon have an out-of-money experience. When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer. It could be better but it’s good enough. Your inferiority complex is not good enough. Try harder. Help! I’m being held hostage in a Chinese bakery. You are about to become $8.95 poorer ($6.95 if you had the buffet). When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge “fortune cookie say guilty!” You are cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. As long as you don’t sign up for anything new, you’ll do fine. Drive like hell, you will get there. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand… For rectal use only. Be cautious while walking in the darkness alone. You don’t have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it. Ask not what your fortune cookie can do for you, but what you can do for your fortune cookie. If you think we are going to sum up your whole life on this piece of paper you are crazy. A wise person needs either good manners or fast reflexes. I see money in your future… it is not yours though. 18,000 children starve to death every day. They would have loved this cookie. Practice safe eating. Always use condiments. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. You laugh now, wait until you get home. The older you get the better you were. Three can keep a secret if you get rid of two. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life. I can’t believe you’re about to eat my tiny home. You are about to finish reading a fortune cookie. The only difference between a rut and a grave is depth. You love Chinese food. This fortune is no good. Try another. Never do anything halfway. Ask your mom. Jokes on you. This cookie can’t help you. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Only listen to fortune cookies. Disregard all other fortune-telling units. There is no angry way to say bubbles. Family relationships will improve with time in bed. If you think nobody cares you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments. That wasn’t chicken. Fortune not found. Abort, retry or ignore? These numbers below mean absolutely nothing. A foolish man listens to his heart. A wise man listens to cookies. The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese. A honeymoon should be like a table: four bare legs, no drawers. Fortune says you need to give a donation. Give it to the chef. Cookie said: “You really crack me up.” Give a person fish, he eats for a day. Teach a person to fish, he always smells funny. If you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside. A wise husband is one who thinks twice before saying nothing. Marriage: annoying one special person for the rest of your life He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at. There is romance in your future. Remember to floss. We don’t know the future, but you just got a free cookie. A real patriot is a person who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? Love is on the horizon. The stars predict he will be tall, dark, and centaur. Your pet is planning to eat you. Don’t stand in the way if your friend wants to learn to drive. Life is a series of choices. Today they are good ones. Success comes before work… only in the dictionary. If your cookie is in two pieces, the answer is yes. Be kind to pigeons. A statue will someday be made of you. A good way to stay healthy is to eat more Chinese food. Your resemblance to a puppet will stop the world from taking you seriously. A foolish man listens to the heart. Wise man listen to the cookie. You will read this and say, “Geez, I could have come up with a better fortune than that.” What is the speed of dark? The easiest way to find a lost object is to buy a replacement. Work on improving your exercise routine. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. Never do anything halfway. For instance, you should… What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud. Tomorrow morning, take a left turn as soon as you leave home. You will die alone and poorly dressed. Age is a high price to pay for maturity. The soup was a secret family recipe made from toads. Hope you liked it! The wise man is the one that makes you think he is dumb. This cookie is never going to give you up, never going to let you down.
See more about - 120 Funny Family Quotes Everyone Can Relate To
Fortune cookies are a nice little bonus you get at the end of a meal at a Chinese restaurant. Made from flour, sugar, vanilla, and sesame seed oil, the sugary cookie is a great treat after you’ve eaten. While the cookies themselves are sweet and act like an after-dinner snack, it’s the fortune inside them that you really want. Each cookie contains a short message that is often an old Chinese saying or a vague prophecy of what to expect in the future. The best messages are funny fortune cookie sayings that offer a few laughs instead of trying to predict the future. Fortune Cookie Origins
Surprisingly, fortune cookies were not invented by the Chinese, despite their association with Chinese food and culture. While there is no exact date for when they became a thing, historians believe they originated in Japanese culture sometime in the 19th century. Makoto Hagiwara of Golden Gate Park’s Japanese Tea Garden began handing out fortune cookies in the late 1980s and is often highlighted as the first person in America to do so. Although that claim has been disputed by David Jung, founder of the Hong Kong Noodle Company in Los Angeles, who claims to have invented the fortune cookie in 1918. Several other people have tried to claim ownership of the fortune cookie but with little success. Most just agree they started appearing in the early 1900s at Chinese restaurants in San Francisco. Predicting the Future As mentioned, a fortune cookie usually contains a short message or quote spouting wisdom, promising good news, or predicting a vague future event. While they can be informative and challenging, the best fortune cookie message to get is one that is funny. What beats ending your meal with a joke and a laugh? Acting like a funny fortune teller, these hilarious messages reference a wide range of topics and are often unintentionally funny. To give you an example of the types of funny fortune cookie sayings you might come across, as well as wanting to give you a laugh, here are some of the funniest examples. 101 Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings
Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue. Today, bring an umbrella. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. About time I got out of that cookie. When in anger, sing the alphabet. Blessed are the children for they shall inherit the national debt. If you eat something and nobody sees you eat it, it has no calories. The fortune you seek is in another cookie. Stop eating now. Food poisoning is no fun. You will marry a professional athlete – if competitive eating is considered a sport. Come back later… I am sleeping. I can not help you for I am just a cookie. Change is inevitable, except for vending machines. Your reality check is about to bounce. Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come from miles to watch you burn. A wise person never tries to get even. A wise person gets odder. To truly find yourself you should play hide and seek alone. Ignore the previous cookie. Pregnancy is a gift. And in your case, also a surprise. Pass the bill to the person on your right. Two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday. It’s okay to look at the past and future. Just don’t stare. Error 404: Fortune not found. You will soon have an out-of-money experience. When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer. It could be better but it’s good enough. Your inferiority complex is not good enough. Try harder. Help! I’m being held hostage in a Chinese bakery. You are about to become $8.95 poorer ($6.95 if you had the buffet). When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge “fortune cookie say guilty!” You are cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. As long as you don’t sign up for anything new, you’ll do fine. Drive like hell, you will get there. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand… For rectal use only. Be cautious while walking in the darkness alone. You don’t have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it. Ask not what your fortune cookie can do for you, but what you can do for your fortune cookie. If you think we are going to sum up your whole life on this piece of paper you are crazy. A wise person needs either good manners or fast reflexes. I see money in your future… it is not yours though. 18,000 children starve to death every day. They would have loved this cookie. Practice safe eating. Always use condiments. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. You laugh now, wait until you get home. The older you get the better you were. Three can keep a secret if you get rid of two. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life. I can’t believe you’re about to eat my tiny home. You are about to finish reading a fortune cookie. The only difference between a rut and a grave is depth. You love Chinese food. This fortune is no good. Try another. Never do anything halfway. Ask your mom. Jokes on you. This cookie can’t help you. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Only listen to fortune cookies. Disregard all other fortune-telling units. There is no angry way to say bubbles. Family relationships will improve with time in bed. If you think nobody cares you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments. That wasn’t chicken. Fortune not found. Abort, retry or ignore? These numbers below mean absolutely nothing. A foolish man listens to his heart. A wise man listens to cookies. The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese. A honeymoon should be like a table: four bare legs, no drawers. Fortune says you need to give a donation. Give it to the chef. Cookie said: “You really crack me up.” Give a person fish, he eats for a day. Teach a person to fish, he always smells funny. If you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside. A wise husband is one who thinks twice before saying nothing. Marriage: annoying one special person for the rest of your life He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at. There is romance in your future. Remember to floss. We don’t know the future, but you just got a free cookie. A real patriot is a person who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? Love is on the horizon. The stars predict he will be tall, dark, and centaur. Your pet is planning to eat you. Don’t stand in the way if your friend wants to learn to drive. Life is a series of choices. Today they are good ones. Success comes before work… only in the dictionary. If your cookie is in two pieces, the answer is yes. Be kind to pigeons. A statue will someday be made of you. A good way to stay healthy is to eat more Chinese food. Your resemblance to a puppet will stop the world from taking you seriously. A foolish man listens to the heart. Wise man listen to the cookie. You will read this and say, “Geez, I could have come up with a better fortune than that.” What is the speed of dark? The easiest way to find a lost object is to buy a replacement. Work on improving your exercise routine. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. Never do anything halfway. For instance, you should… What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud. Tomorrow morning, take a left turn as soon as you leave home. You will die alone and poorly dressed. Age is a high price to pay for maturity. The soup was a secret family recipe made from toads. Hope you liked it! The wise man is the one that makes you think he is dumb. This cookie is never going to give you up, never going to let you down.
See more about - 120 Funny Family Quotes Everyone Can Relate To
Fortune cookies are a nice little bonus you get at the end of a meal at a Chinese restaurant. Made from flour, sugar, vanilla, and sesame seed oil, the sugary cookie is a great treat after you’ve eaten. While the cookies themselves are sweet and act like an after-dinner snack, it’s the fortune inside them that you really want. Each cookie contains a short message that is often an old Chinese saying or a vague prophecy of what to expect in the future. The best messages are funny fortune cookie sayings that offer a few laughs instead of trying to predict the future.
Fortune Cookie Origins
Surprisingly, fortune cookies were not invented by the Chinese, despite their association with Chinese food and culture. While there is no exact date for when they became a thing, historians believe they originated in Japanese culture sometime in the 19th century. Makoto Hagiwara of Golden Gate Park’s Japanese Tea Garden began handing out fortune cookies in the late 1980s and is often highlighted as the first person in America to do so. Although that claim has been disputed by David Jung, founder of the Hong Kong Noodle Company in Los Angeles, who claims to have invented the fortune cookie in 1918.
Several other people have tried to claim ownership of the fortune cookie but with little success. Most just agree they started appearing in the early 1900s at Chinese restaurants in San Francisco.
Predicting the Future
As mentioned, a fortune cookie usually contains a short message or quote spouting wisdom, promising good news, or predicting a vague future event. While they can be informative and challenging, the best fortune cookie message to get is one that is funny. What beats ending your meal with a joke and a laugh?
Acting like a funny fortune teller, these hilarious messages reference a wide range of topics and are often unintentionally funny. To give you an example of the types of funny fortune cookie sayings you might come across, as well as wanting to give you a laugh, here are some of the funniest examples.
101 Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue. Today, bring an umbrella.
- No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
- About time I got out of that cookie.
- When in anger, sing the alphabet.
- Blessed are the children for they shall inherit the national debt.
- If you eat something and nobody sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- The fortune you seek is in another cookie.
- Stop eating now. Food poisoning is no fun.
- You will marry a professional athlete – if competitive eating is considered a sport.
- Come back later… I am sleeping.
- I can not help you for I am just a cookie.
- Change is inevitable, except for vending machines.
- Your reality check is about to bounce.
- Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come from miles to watch you burn.
- A wise person never tries to get even. A wise person gets odder.
- To truly find yourself you should play hide and seek alone.
- Ignore the previous cookie.
- Pregnancy is a gift. And in your case, also a surprise.
- Pass the bill to the person on your right.
- Two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
- It’s okay to look at the past and future. Just don’t stare.
- Error 404: Fortune not found.
- You will soon have an out-of-money experience.
- When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
- It could be better but it’s good enough.
- Your inferiority complex is not good enough. Try harder.
- Help! I’m being held hostage in a Chinese bakery.
- You are about to become $8.95 poorer ($6.95 if you had the buffet).
- When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge “fortune cookie say guilty!”
- You are cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
- As long as you don’t sign up for anything new, you’ll do fine.
- Drive like hell, you will get there.
- How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand…
- For rectal use only.
- Be cautious while walking in the darkness alone.
- You don’t have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
- Ask not what your fortune cookie can do for you, but what you can do for your fortune cookie.
- If you think we are going to sum up your whole life on this piece of paper you are crazy.
- A wise person needs either good manners or fast reflexes.
- I see money in your future… it is not yours though.
- 18,000 children starve to death every day. They would have loved this cookie.
- Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- You laugh now, wait until you get home.
- The older you get the better you were.
- Three can keep a secret if you get rid of two.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.
- I can’t believe you’re about to eat my tiny home.
- You are about to finish reading a fortune cookie.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is depth.
- You love Chinese food.
- This fortune is no good. Try another.
- Never do anything halfway.
- Ask your mom.
- Jokes on you. This cookie can’t help you.
- If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Only listen to fortune cookies. Disregard all other fortune-telling units.
- There is no angry way to say bubbles.
- Family relationships will improve with time in bed.
- If you think nobody cares you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- That wasn’t chicken.
- Fortune not found. Abort, retry or ignore?
- These numbers below mean absolutely nothing.
- A foolish man listens to his heart. A wise man listens to cookies.
- The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- A honeymoon should be like a table: four bare legs, no drawers.
- Fortune says you need to give a donation. Give it to the chef.
- Cookie said: “You really crack me up.”
- Give a person fish, he eats for a day. Teach a person to fish, he always smells funny.
- If you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside.
- A wise husband is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.
- Marriage: annoying one special person for the rest of your life
- He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.
- There is romance in your future. Remember to floss.
- We don’t know the future, but you just got a free cookie.
- A real patriot is a person who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Love is on the horizon. The stars predict he will be tall, dark, and centaur.
- Your pet is planning to eat you.
- Don’t stand in the way if your friend wants to learn to drive.
- Life is a series of choices. Today they are good ones.
- Success comes before work… only in the dictionary.
- If your cookie is in two pieces, the answer is yes.
- Be kind to pigeons. A statue will someday be made of you.
- A good way to stay healthy is to eat more Chinese food.
- Your resemblance to a puppet will stop the world from taking you seriously.
- A foolish man listens to the heart. Wise man listen to the cookie.
- You will read this and say, “Geez, I could have come up with a better fortune than that.”
- What is the speed of dark?
- The easiest way to find a lost object is to buy a replacement.
- Work on improving your exercise routine.
- Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
- Never do anything halfway. For instance, you should…
- What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
- Tomorrow morning, take a left turn as soon as you leave home.
- You will die alone and poorly dressed.
- Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
- The soup was a secret family recipe made from toads. Hope you liked it!
- The wise man is the one that makes you think he is dumb.
- This cookie is never going to give you up, never going to let you down.
See more about - 120 Funny Family Quotes Everyone Can Relate To
See more about - 120 Funny Family Quotes Everyone Can Relate To
