52 Hilarious Stephen Hawking Jokes

Stephen Hawkins was one of the most intelligent men ever to grace the earth. The theoretical physicist achieved much in his 76 years and won many accolades for his scientific findings. Diagnosed with a slow-progressing motor neuron disease at age 21, Hawkins didn’t let that stop him from making incredible breakthroughs in science theories and establishing himself as one of the preeminent minds in the world of physics. Not only was he super smart, but Hawkins had a tremendous sense of humor, as he discussed in the documentary Stephen Hawking: A Brief History of Mine. Being able to look at the funny side of life and have a laugh at all the Stephen Hawking jokes that came about as his disorder got worse enabled him to enjoy himself more than most may have thought. Professor Hawking was also ready and willing to have fun with those around him, even at his expense. He was always funny when on talk shows hosted by Jimmy Carr and John Oliver, being interviewed by people for TV specials, or even talking to famous people like the Queen or Prime Minister of Britain. He even showed up on The Big Bang Theory and put Sheldon Cooper in his place. He also make an appearance in an episode of Star Trek. He’s the popular culture icon Neil DeGrasse Tyson wishes he could be.  Due to his love of jokes, it’s no wonder there are so many funny gags about the famous scientist. Jump on the internet and you will find hundreds of hilarious cracks involving Hawking. While some are a little crude and rude, they no doubt would have given Hawking a chuckle. We’ve gathered together some of the best for you to enjoy and share with your friends. We know Hawking would approve.  52 Hilarious Stephen Hawking Jokes Hadrian/Shutterstock

1. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? The computer runs.
2. It’s said that Jesus could walk on water… That’s nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
3. Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut down” instead of “sleep.”
4. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen can’t walkie and Stephen can’t talkie.
5. Stephen Hawking had a hot date last night. She stood him up… And he immediately fell on the floor.
6. How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace…
7. What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion? Hot wheels.
8. What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite song? “Ridin’” by Chamillionaire.
9. A fish, a snake, and Stephen Hawking walk into a bar… Just kidding. None of those things walk.
10. How did Stephen Hawking die? He accidentally hit alt+f4. 
11. Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she kept using a metal detector.
12. “There is no God” – Stephen Hawking, 2011. “There is no Stephen Hawking” – God, 2018.
13. What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
14. Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man. He’s always looking over his shoulder.
15. What’s Steven hawking’s favorite type of comedy? Stand-up.
16. The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Professor Stephen Hawking.
17. How do you know Stephen Hawking has a thing for African American women? He knows a lot about black holes.
18. Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card? Because I really need bits for my kid’s go-kart.
19. What’s Stephen Hawking’s least favorite song? “Stairway to Heaven.”
20. It’s sad there are all these mean Stephen Hawking jokes. The man can’t even stand up for himself.
21. I’ve tried calling Stephen Hawking many times. I keep getting his answering machine.
22. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something. 
23. Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker. 
24. Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning. Because I can’t get out of bed.
25. Why did Stephen Hawking only eat meat? Because eating vegetables would be cannibalism.
26. What were Stephen Hawking’s last words? Error 404. File not found. 
27. How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
28. What do you call a handjob from Stephen Hawking? A stroke of genius.
29. Stephen Hawking was quite persistent in his older age. He never walked away from a challenge.
30. Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking’s house? No, he hasn’t either.
31. I knew a guy who used to get Tony Hawk and Stephen Hawking confused. Understandable, they both loved ramps.
32. Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can’t run away from his responsibilities.
33. What has hands but can’t clap? Stephen Hawking. 
34. I tried to woo Stephen Hawking but he wasn’t keen. I don’t think I pushed the right buttons.
35. Who would win in a fight between Muhammad Ali and Stephen Hawking? Parkinson’s.
36. How did Stephan Hawking please his women? He used a hard drive.
37. What’s the quietest album in the world? Stephen Hawking – Unplugged.
38. What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen Walking.
39. If Stephen hawking started a company, what would his position in the company be? The Chairman.
40. What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
41. What has four wheels, two legs, and loves his shoulder? Stephen Hawking.
42. What is Stephen Hawking’s best skill in basketball? Dribbling.
43. What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes? Nothing.
44. What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs. Hawking.
45. It’s a little-known fact that legendary stuntman Evel Knievel had an IQ of 160, the same as genius professor Stephen Hawking. Ironically, they also shared a love of ramps.
46. What did Stephen Hawking’s tombstone say? Rust in peace. 
47. Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It’s about time, too.
48. Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man. He’s always looking over his shoulder.
49. Stephen Hawking was a master at the violin. He had an adept understanding of string theory.
50. Stephen Hawking says we only have 1000 more years left as a civilization. He’s just mad that we haven’t figured out how to get him out of that wheelchair by now.
51. What was the one test Steven Hawking couldn’t pass? The beep test.
52. Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest. Stephen Hawking won by a landslide.

See more about - 68 Hilarious Physics Jokes Everyone Can Laugh At

Stephen Hawkins was one of the most intelligent men ever to grace the earth. The theoretical physicist achieved much in his 76 years and won many accolades for his scientific findings. Diagnosed with a slow-progressing motor neuron disease at age 21, Hawkins didn’t let that stop him from making incredible breakthroughs in science theories and establishing himself as one of the preeminent minds in the world of physics. Not only was he super smart, but Hawkins had a tremendous sense of humor, as he discussed in the documentary Stephen Hawking: A Brief History of Mine. Being able to look at the funny side of life and have a laugh at all the Stephen Hawking jokes that came about as his disorder got worse enabled him to enjoy himself more than most may have thought. Professor Hawking was also ready and willing to have fun with those around him, even at his expense. He was always funny when on talk shows hosted by Jimmy Carr and John Oliver, being interviewed by people for TV specials, or even talking to famous people like the Queen or Prime Minister of Britain. He even showed up on The Big Bang Theory and put Sheldon Cooper in his place. He also make an appearance in an episode of Star Trek. He’s the popular culture icon Neil DeGrasse Tyson wishes he could be.  Due to his love of jokes, it’s no wonder there are so many funny gags about the famous scientist. Jump on the internet and you will find hundreds of hilarious cracks involving Hawking. While some are a little crude and rude, they no doubt would have given Hawking a chuckle. We’ve gathered together some of the best for you to enjoy and share with your friends. We know Hawking would approve.  52 Hilarious Stephen Hawking Jokes Hadrian/Shutterstock

1. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? The computer runs.
2. It’s said that Jesus could walk on water… That’s nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
3. Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut down” instead of “sleep.”
4. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen can’t walkie and Stephen can’t talkie.
5. Stephen Hawking had a hot date last night. She stood him up… And he immediately fell on the floor.
6. How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace…
7. What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion? Hot wheels.
8. What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite song? “Ridin’” by Chamillionaire.
9. A fish, a snake, and Stephen Hawking walk into a bar… Just kidding. None of those things walk.
10. How did Stephen Hawking die? He accidentally hit alt+f4. 
11. Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she kept using a metal detector.
12. “There is no God” – Stephen Hawking, 2011. “There is no Stephen Hawking” – God, 2018.
13. What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
14. Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man. He’s always looking over his shoulder.
15. What’s Steven hawking’s favorite type of comedy? Stand-up.
16. The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Professor Stephen Hawking.
17. How do you know Stephen Hawking has a thing for African American women? He knows a lot about black holes.
18. Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card? Because I really need bits for my kid’s go-kart.
19. What’s Stephen Hawking’s least favorite song? “Stairway to Heaven.”
20. It’s sad there are all these mean Stephen Hawking jokes. The man can’t even stand up for himself.
21. I’ve tried calling Stephen Hawking many times. I keep getting his answering machine.
22. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something. 
23. Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker. 
24. Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning. Because I can’t get out of bed.
25. Why did Stephen Hawking only eat meat? Because eating vegetables would be cannibalism.
26. What were Stephen Hawking’s last words? Error 404. File not found. 
27. How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
28. What do you call a handjob from Stephen Hawking? A stroke of genius.
29. Stephen Hawking was quite persistent in his older age. He never walked away from a challenge.
30. Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking’s house? No, he hasn’t either.
31. I knew a guy who used to get Tony Hawk and Stephen Hawking confused. Understandable, they both loved ramps.
32. Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can’t run away from his responsibilities.
33. What has hands but can’t clap? Stephen Hawking. 
34. I tried to woo Stephen Hawking but he wasn’t keen. I don’t think I pushed the right buttons.
35. Who would win in a fight between Muhammad Ali and Stephen Hawking? Parkinson’s.
36. How did Stephan Hawking please his women? He used a hard drive.
37. What’s the quietest album in the world? Stephen Hawking – Unplugged.
38. What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen Walking.
39. If Stephen hawking started a company, what would his position in the company be? The Chairman.
40. What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
41. What has four wheels, two legs, and loves his shoulder? Stephen Hawking.
42. What is Stephen Hawking’s best skill in basketball? Dribbling.
43. What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes? Nothing.
44. What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs. Hawking.
45. It’s a little-known fact that legendary stuntman Evel Knievel had an IQ of 160, the same as genius professor Stephen Hawking. Ironically, they also shared a love of ramps.
46. What did Stephen Hawking’s tombstone say? Rust in peace. 
47. Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It’s about time, too.
48. Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man. He’s always looking over his shoulder.
49. Stephen Hawking was a master at the violin. He had an adept understanding of string theory.
50. Stephen Hawking says we only have 1000 more years left as a civilization. He’s just mad that we haven’t figured out how to get him out of that wheelchair by now.
51. What was the one test Steven Hawking couldn’t pass? The beep test.
52. Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest. Stephen Hawking won by a landslide.

See more about - 68 Hilarious Physics Jokes Everyone Can Laugh At

Stephen Hawkins was one of the most intelligent men ever to grace the earth. The theoretical physicist achieved much in his 76 years and won many accolades for his scientific findings. Diagnosed with a slow-progressing motor neuron disease at age 21, Hawkins didn’t let that stop him from making incredible breakthroughs in science theories and establishing himself as one of the preeminent minds in the world of physics.

Not only was he super smart, but Hawkins had a tremendous sense of humor, as he discussed in the documentary Stephen Hawking: A Brief History of Mine. Being able to look at the funny side of life and have a laugh at all the Stephen Hawking jokes that came about as his disorder got worse enabled him to enjoy himself more than most may have thought.

Professor Hawking was also ready and willing to have fun with those around him, even at his expense. He was always funny when on talk shows hosted by Jimmy Carr and John Oliver, being interviewed by people for TV specials, or even talking to famous people like the Queen or Prime Minister of Britain. He even showed up on The Big Bang Theory and put Sheldon Cooper in his place. He also make an appearance in an episode of Star Trek. He’s the popular culture icon Neil DeGrasse Tyson wishes he could be. 

Due to his love of jokes, it’s no wonder there are so many funny gags about the famous scientist. Jump on the internet and you will find hundreds of hilarious cracks involving Hawking. While some are a little crude and rude, they no doubt would have given Hawking a chuckle. We’ve gathered together some of the best for you to enjoy and share with your friends. We know Hawking would approve. 

52 Hilarious Stephen Hawking Jokes

Hadrian/Shutterstock

1. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to?

The computer runs.

2. It’s said that Jesus could walk on water…

That’s nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

3. Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental.

He clicked “shut down” instead of “sleep.”

4. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

Stephen can’t walkie and Stephen can’t talkie.

5. Stephen Hawking had a hot date last night. She stood him up…

And he immediately fell on the floor.

6. How does Stephen Hawking have sex?

Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace…

7. What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

Hot wheels.

8. What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite song?

“Ridin’” by Chamillionaire.

9. A fish, a snake, and Stephen Hawking walk into a bar…

Just kidding. None of those things walk.

10. How did Stephen Hawking die?

He accidentally hit alt+f4. 

11. Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?

Because she kept using a metal detector.

12. “There is no God” – Stephen Hawking, 2011.

“There is no Stephen Hawking” – God, 2018.

13. What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

14. Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man.

He’s always looking over his shoulder.

15. What’s Steven hawking’s favorite type of comedy?

Stand-up.

16. The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house.

I got off easy because my hero is Professor Stephen Hawking.

17. How do you know Stephen Hawking has a thing for African American women?

He knows a lot about black holes.

18. Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card?

Because I really need bits for my kid’s go-kart.

19. What’s Stephen Hawking’s least favorite song?

“Stairway to Heaven.”

20. It’s sad there are all these mean Stephen Hawking jokes.

The man can’t even stand up for himself.

21. I’ve tried calling Stephen Hawking many times.

I keep getting his answering machine.

22. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty?

The Statue of Liberty stands for something. 

23. Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction.

It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker. 

24. Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning.

Because I can’t get out of bed.

25. Why did Stephen Hawking only eat meat?

Because eating vegetables would be cannibalism.

26. What were Stephen Hawking’s last words?

Error 404. File not found. 

27. How does Stephen Hawking take a shit?

He logs out.

28. What do you call a handjob from Stephen Hawking?

A stroke of genius.

29. Stephen Hawking was quite persistent in his older age.

He never walked away from a challenge.

30. Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking’s house?

No, he hasn’t either.

31. I knew a guy who used to get Tony Hawk and Stephen Hawking confused.

Understandable, they both loved ramps.

32. Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can’t run away from his responsibilities.

33. What has hands but can’t clap?

Stephen Hawking. 

34. I tried to woo Stephen Hawking but he wasn’t keen.

I don’t think I pushed the right buttons.

35. Who would win in a fight between Muhammad Ali and Stephen Hawking?

Parkinson’s.

36. How did Stephan Hawking please his women?

He used a hard drive.

37. What’s the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking – Unplugged.

38. What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking?

Stephen Walking.

39. If Stephen hawking started a company, what would his position in the company be?

The Chairman.

40. What gang was Stephen Hawking in?

The Crips.

41. What has four wheels, two legs, and loves his shoulder?

Stephen Hawking.

42. What is Stephen Hawking’s best skill in basketball?

Dribbling.

43. What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?

Nothing.

44. What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs. Hawking.

45. It’s a little-known fact that legendary stuntman Evel Knievel had an IQ of 160, the same as genius professor Stephen Hawking.

Ironically, they also shared a love of ramps.

46. What did Stephen Hawking’s tombstone say?

Rust in peace. 

47. Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space.

It’s about time, too.

48. Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man.

49. Stephen Hawking was a master at the violin.

He had an adept understanding of string theory.

50. Stephen Hawking says we only have 1000 more years left as a civilization.

He’s just mad that we haven’t figured out how to get him out of that wheelchair by now.

51. What was the one test Steven Hawking couldn’t pass?

The beep test.

52. Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest.

Stephen Hawking won by a landslide.

See more about - 68 Hilarious Physics Jokes Everyone Can Laugh At

See more about - 68 Hilarious Physics Jokes Everyone Can Laugh At